Sharing is Caring...

  I have my days where I feel pretty. Not everyday, but there are days or times in the day, that I do. This occurs more the older I get. However, not too long ago I had an 'Aha!' moment, as Oprah would say.

 I grew up around a mix of people, not all together in one area since we moved around a lot, but a mix of people over time. When I started school each move I had to adjust. It wasn't the most pleasant experience considering I have a shy nature and it seemed we always moved in the middle of the year. When we lived in Northern Michigan it was a culture shock coming from East Cleveland where everyone's name was at least two syllables to being the only girl in class whose curly hair was a fascination and also the subject of  some cruel comments. Thank goodness for a mother who constantly insisted that I was beautiful, a blend of all colors, a peach. Even though I didn't always believe it, it helped to have something positive in my mind to help fight off all those negative comments and thoughts. When you finally become an adult I always thought those feelings magically disappeared. Now I know it's not true. You still continue to fight.

  I was working in a salon and on a rather slow day we ended up having this deep conversation in the break room. We were all fighting insecurities about ourselves and envying something in another person. When we layed it out on the table the person in the envy chair was shocked. One girl liked another girl's hips because she felt she didn't have any. Another liked another for her funky clothes, another for her height, another for her weight... the list goes on. What I realized in this conversation is what was really happening was we were appreciating their beauty and individuality. The negativity comes into play because we weren't sharing our appreciation so the thoughts became comparisons and then downplays of ourselves. There wasn't enough positives in our mental banks to fight off insecurities. When we heard the attributes we had that were admired by others not only did the rest of our day go by with ALL of our heads held high but it carried over into the next day as well.

  So, this is my thought... You know that moment in the store, mall, gas station, wherever, you see that woman who has the pretty hair, the super cute to die for shoes, the fabulous glasses, the contagious smile, the positive energy? TELL HER! Most times we stare, keep the compliment to ourselves and keep going. Well, what if the woman we stared at saw us examining her and we didn't share the compliment? She might have needed that positive thought to battle some of her own insecurities, because we all have them. It's ok for us women to give another woman a compliment. It doesn't make us look jealous. It actually gives us strength and a boost to our self confidence.

Women of Color

When I first heard the phrase, 'Women of Color' I remember scrunching my brows and looking around to see if anyone else thought the term was strange. There wasn't another face that matched mine so I continued to listen to the cosmetic seminar that was given. Why did it hit me funny? Here's why...


I understand a woman's plight of finding the right colors to compliment her skin tones, the sometimes exasperating effort made to find the right shade of foundation, the irritation of going to 'professionals' at the department store and still having the unforgiveable makeup line of demarcation. Being a blend myself I personally witnessed going to the counter and an advisor would inevitably pick a color too dark because when she looked at me she saw black or bi-racial which means a little bit of black. Instead of truly looking at me and seeing hints of gold and apricot. What I don't understand is how 'color' became black and white. So, are we saying that white is not a color? Espresso is a color but so is bisque. And in all the years I have worked with cosmetics I haven't run into a woman that likes being categorized as Very Light or Dark. The response is usually a head tipped to the side and a, "Dark? I'm not dark. Is there something lighter?" or the sheepish down trodden eye that reluctantly says, "Yes. I'm as white as white can get." Purchasing makeup should make you feel happy, confident and maybe a little excited not self conscious. The issue really lies in the fact that a lot of cosmetic companies have only focused on one end of the spectrum of the rainbow instead of embracing both ends and the colors in between. Fortunately, companies like Nars and MAC seem to see color as more than light and dark and others are following suit. Yay!



So I have decided that when I refer to Women of Color it will not be to define the woman, but to identify with another fellow feminine being who loves rainbows. Women that love rose, cinnamon, indigo, paper bag brown, violet, crimson, black, white etc.... These are really 'Women of Color' in my eyes.