'Tis the month to start anew. Many are making New Year's resolutions. "This is the year that I am going to get organized!", "This is the year that I am going to lose weight and get into the jeans I wore back in high school!", "This is the year that I am going to find a man or woman!", etc....
So many years have gone by with people starting the exact same way... unrealistically. Let's start with a small goal and then work our way up. Many times we look at the entire year and make a plan that sounds really good and possible, but never include the things that pop up and throw us off course. So, I suggest start with the month of January. Make a goal that you can accomplish that month! Then, towards the end of the month, make another goal for February same for March and so on. This way your year is broken down in months and it's easier to actually accomplish some things!
Many popular resolutions have to do with self image. Losing weight, being fit, being more positive, getting organized... These are all great things! So, how does it fit into a beauty/fashion article?
1) Losing Weight/ Being Fit
There are two parts to this one. Lets say, your weight loss goal is a significant amount. As you succeed your body image will change. You will have to learn to dress differently for your new shape. Many times we look at those jeans that we are desperate to wear and see how far we have to go to get in them. Lets say we have twenty pounds to lose and so far we have lost five. Well, when we lose five. that's an accomplishment! But our jeans we have currently don't fit so well and our goal jeans don't either, just yet. Don't get discouraged! Go out and get a cute, cheap pair and wear them proudly until your next size down. A whole new wardrobe is not needed, but a couple essentials are!
Second part is, what if your weight loss goal is not that big? It's just more about toning up. OK! You go to the gym, or workout at home, and you admire your progress in the bathroom mirror.Then you put on the same clothes that hid your shape or made you feel out of shape in the first place! None of your friends are noticing your hard work because it's hidden under baggy, loose fitting clothes. So, you feel that you need to workout harder. These types of things play with our heads! Again, shop for a few essentials, get some of your favorites tailored, hire a stylist. (hint, hint.. and yes, they can be affordable and not just for reality shows) It will make you feel better, not to mention, look better!!
2) Being more positive
When was the last time you were complimented on your hair or hair color or style? If it's been a while, or, heaven forbid, never, it's time to look into something different. Talk to your stylist discuss new ideas. If they don't have any, talk to some new ones. Consultations are usually free at salons. When you get complimented it makes you feel great, which in turn puts you in a great mood, which leads to positive energy, and BOOM, you have 'Being More Positive' accomplished!
3) Getting Organized
We think of the areas like the piles of bills or miscellaneous papers lying around, our garages, basements, closets, kids rooms, cars etc...
What about your cosmetic bag? Or under your bathroom sink? How many of us have fallen victim to sample hoarding or gift with purchase? What about the shampoo, conditioner, styling products we buy, just knowing it's going to make our life so much easier, and we end up with enough to start our own salon? Get rid of it! You can sift through it yourself or hire a professional (hint, hint) to help you keep the colors that flatter you or the hair products that actually work.
Having goals is wonderful! They keep us moving forward in a positive way, but not accomplishing them can be depressing. Keep it simple, small steps are still steps. It can be more enjoyable accomplishing goals with someone versus alone, so get some help! Wishing you all much success!
Edited version published in Suwanee Magazine
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
It's all about the Flavor!
It's approaching fall, or it already is if you are like me who gages the seasons when school begins and ends, and all the designers and beauty editors are giving us the latest looks for the season.
It can be a little daunting as a reader on what really is 'do-able'. We might think, should I really put this purple eyeshadow all over my lid? These 'Harem Pants' really look like 'Hammer Pants', is it really a good idea to wear? The eighties brights are back?! Didn't we all look back on the eighties and grimace just a little?
As far as the Harem Pants the flavor is eastern culture. Think Eat, Pray Love... if you mimic the feel of the clothes, you're in!
It can be a little daunting as a reader on what really is 'do-able'. We might think, should I really put this purple eyeshadow all over my lid? These 'Harem Pants' really look like 'Hammer Pants', is it really a good idea to wear? The eighties brights are back?! Didn't we all look back on the eighties and grimace just a little?
Well, let's think about this a little... do we have to do exactly what we see in the magazines or on the internet to be in style? Or are the things that are shown to us really intended to be a guide? I think the latter. What we see as the final product in the magazines have been sifted and edited countless times! So focus on the flavor of a style. Purple eyeshadow that's featured in a magazine might make you feel like you're auditioning for a Broadway Show, which might not be the look you're going for.
I really do love this picture above! It's Nars, one of my favorite cosmetic lines! But this is my flavor, yours might be different. Ok, so back to the point...
This style, like I said, might be too much. Does that mean purple is not for you? NO! Try purple eyeliner instead, or a wash of lavender, which BTW is beautiful paired with silver hair!
As far as the Harem Pants the flavor is eastern culture. Think Eat, Pray Love... if you mimic the feel of the clothes, you're in! The eighties is a stigma some of us just might have to go to therapy for....LOL
In review, don't look so literal at trends. There are plenty of styles for us to look at and we may relate more to one or we might see ourselves a little in all of them. Either way, look for the flavor and adapt it to your lifestyle and comfort level. This way you will always feel current and comfortable!
Monday, August 23, 2010
A Sincere Beauty
I have a girlfriend who has a beautiful family, but it's her daughter that captures my thoughts the most. She has long spirals of sandy blond hair and she looks as if she should permanently remain in a field of wild flowers. She is quietly satisfied with herself and comfortable with her abundant thirst for knowledge.
At seven years old (yes, seven), she possesses such positive self esteem that I at.... my age, am just now starting to find! I think that she has become a little role model for me. She doesn't always match, appreciates makeup and girly things but they hardly influence her life, has an extensive knowledge on animal behavior and is comfortable to shrug her shoulders at the thought of anyone calling her a nerd.
Her mother frets over potentially failing her children, as all loving mothers do, but what greater gift can a mother give a daughter than the gift of healthy self esteem? The gift of shoes that are comfortable to stand in no matter the trend or the pressure of peers? This isn't to say that this child won't go through a period of self uncertainty, doing things to 'find herself'. However, through all the horrible haircuts, bad fashion choices, heartache of disappointing friends, heartbreak ...etc. she will find that gift that has always been there, re- establish it and appreciate it's value.
My mother gave the gift to me, although I didn't realize I had it until recently, and now seeing my friend passing it along to her daughter makes my heart swell with joy. I only hope to follow in their footsteps!
At seven years old (yes, seven), she possesses such positive self esteem that I at.... my age, am just now starting to find! I think that she has become a little role model for me. She doesn't always match, appreciates makeup and girly things but they hardly influence her life, has an extensive knowledge on animal behavior and is comfortable to shrug her shoulders at the thought of anyone calling her a nerd.
Her mother frets over potentially failing her children, as all loving mothers do, but what greater gift can a mother give a daughter than the gift of healthy self esteem? The gift of shoes that are comfortable to stand in no matter the trend or the pressure of peers? This isn't to say that this child won't go through a period of self uncertainty, doing things to 'find herself'. However, through all the horrible haircuts, bad fashion choices, heartache of disappointing friends, heartbreak ...etc. she will find that gift that has always been there, re- establish it and appreciate it's value.
My mother gave the gift to me, although I didn't realize I had it until recently, and now seeing my friend passing it along to her daughter makes my heart swell with joy. I only hope to follow in their footsteps!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
To Mineralize or not mineralize?
Well, that is the question now isn't it? Minerals are on every one's brain. It's in our water and smoothies, cereals, daily supplements and now our makeup as well.
Let me start off by saying I am not a scientist nor do I plan on being one. I did however, do some research and have an opinion. There are different types of minerals feldspar, quartz, mica... So if we use a cosmetic product containing one of these minerals it can be marketed as 'Mineral blah, blah'. So our question should not be does it contain minerals but, what type of minerals does it have AND are those the minerals that my individual skin likes and/or needs?
So, some common minerals that are beneficial to the skin are:
Let me start off by saying I am not a scientist nor do I plan on being one. I did however, do some research and have an opinion. There are different types of minerals feldspar, quartz, mica... So if we use a cosmetic product containing one of these minerals it can be marketed as 'Mineral blah, blah'. So our question should not be does it contain minerals but, what type of minerals does it have AND are those the minerals that my individual skin likes and/or needs?
So, some common minerals that are beneficial to the skin are:
Selenium- plays a key role in preventing skin cancer by protecting your skin from sun damage and reducing your chances of burning (you can find it in supplemental form or in a cream)
Copper- helps develop elastin to support skin (best combined with vitamin A and zinc)
and
Zinc- helps with acne and clears skin by controlling oil production Most mineral foundations I found contain zinc along with mica, which is to give a you a glow and blur fine lines and silica, which absorbs sweat and oils in the skin, prevents light reflection and keeps makeup on the skin longer.
I am positive there are others but for the sake of not losing your attention I'll stick with these three. Look at the ingredients on your moisturizers, lotions and mineral makeup (foundations, eye shadows and blushes) to see what minerals are included and do a little web surfing. You, of course will find negatives and positives on virtually everything. We all have an opinion and researching can help you form yours.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Curls Unite!
As I was walking to my car the other day I happened to catch a glimpse of this beautiful head of curls bouncing along to the vehicle a few spaces down. When she turned she saw me and we smiled in appreciation of each other's spiraled tresses.
It's almost as if in those few seconds there was an exchange of understanding, empathy and encouragement.
Understanding, that she too:
*has a million products in her shower that fight frizz, lock in moisture, define curls, add shine etc...
*is terrified to get a trim
*constantly has to unclog the drain in the tub/shower
*is thrilled beyond words when the hair behaves as it's supposed to because you finally found the perfect product or cocktail of products
Empathy, that she too:
*is teased for going against the norm
*has random people ask, 'is that all your hair?', 'did you get a perm?', 'can I touch it?' (the more touching the more frizz)
*suffered through the grow-out process
*has shed numerous tears over a bad haircut
Encouragement:
Rock those curls! They are a beautiful part of the many different forms style can come in!
Yes, her hair was pretty and so was mine and I walked a little taller that day. I hope she did as well!
It's almost as if in those few seconds there was an exchange of understanding, empathy and encouragement.
Understanding, that she too:
*has a million products in her shower that fight frizz, lock in moisture, define curls, add shine etc...
*is terrified to get a trim
*constantly has to unclog the drain in the tub/shower
*is thrilled beyond words when the hair behaves as it's supposed to because you finally found the perfect product or cocktail of products
Empathy, that she too:
*is teased for going against the norm
*has random people ask, 'is that all your hair?', 'did you get a perm?', 'can I touch it?' (the more touching the more frizz)
*suffered through the grow-out process
*has shed numerous tears over a bad haircut
Encouragement:
Rock those curls! They are a beautiful part of the many different forms style can come in!
Yes, her hair was pretty and so was mine and I walked a little taller that day. I hope she did as well!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Check...Done...Already Taken Care Of.
Check...Done...Already Taken Care Of.
Cool news for those of us that love the TLC show, 'Say Yes to the Dress'!
Cool news for those of us that love the TLC show, 'Say Yes to the Dress'!
The Pixie Cut
The 'Pixie Cut' is making a comeback! It started in the twenties with women rebels stretching their boundaries of decency with scissors in tow. It's a significant style and even though short it has some versatility, (pumped up with volumizer, slicked down with gel, adorned with barrettes, headbands, flowers). Perfect summer cut and great for those with fine textured hair. Wavy hair looks good with it as well but we have to do a bit more styling to it.
The thing is, I was looking on-line to see what's in now and so many people have labeled any shorter haircut as a pixie. No! So, here it is: a pixie cut is cropped short in the back and on the sides and two to three inches longer in the crown or top of the head. It can also be short all over with longer fringe (bangs) or longer in the swirl to cover cowlicks.
Who does it look good on? A woman with confidence and fine features. High cheek bones, big eyes and full lips are played up with such a sassy style. Think Halle Berry, Eva Pigford and Alyssa Milano. Lots of texture (razor, slide cutting, chunking) comes into play with this type of cut. So, if you dare, (which I say, 'Go for it!') keep in mind that it will lose shape fast. So, trims should be scheduled every four to six weeks to keep it looking best.
Have fun with it. Get some awesome earrings and necklaces, a sassy new color shade, play up your cheeks, lips or eyes with beautiful simple make up. But above all, pair it with a bright smile, confident posture and a genuine personality and you are sure to shine!http://media.photobucket.com/image/alyssa%20milano%20short%20hair/charmed_lover34/Alyssa%2520Milano/Alyssa_Milano77.jpg
http://www.haircutshairstyles.com/img/photos/full/2009-06/halle_berry_new_short_pixie_haircut259.jpg
http://www.hairstyles53.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/eva-pigford.jpg
The thing is, I was looking on-line to see what's in now and so many people have labeled any shorter haircut as a pixie. No! So, here it is: a pixie cut is cropped short in the back and on the sides and two to three inches longer in the crown or top of the head. It can also be short all over with longer fringe (bangs) or longer in the swirl to cover cowlicks.
Who does it look good on? A woman with confidence and fine features. High cheek bones, big eyes and full lips are played up with such a sassy style. Think Halle Berry, Eva Pigford and Alyssa Milano. Lots of texture (razor, slide cutting, chunking) comes into play with this type of cut. So, if you dare, (which I say, 'Go for it!') keep in mind that it will lose shape fast. So, trims should be scheduled every four to six weeks to keep it looking best.
Have fun with it. Get some awesome earrings and necklaces, a sassy new color shade, play up your cheeks, lips or eyes with beautiful simple make up. But above all, pair it with a bright smile, confident posture and a genuine personality and you are sure to shine!http://media.photobucket.com/image/alyssa%20milano%20short%20hair/charmed_lover34/Alyssa%2520Milano/Alyssa_Milano77.jpg
http://www.haircutshairstyles.com/img/photos/full/2009-06/halle_berry_new_short_pixie_haircut259.jpg
http://www.hairstyles53.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/eva-pigford.jpg
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My Trip to Charleston
I went to Charleston, South Carolina for a few days and recharged my battery. It was a get-away for mom and I and it was HOT! Not in that, we had such a fabulous time, but in temperature. We made the most of it. Of course, staying in the decadent Charleston Place Hotel helped quite a bit! hee, hee, hee
We went to the spa for pedicures. Mom chose her classic red and I went with trendy jade green. Chanelle did a great job. She was gentle, quiet and thorough. I am usually not a fan of people touching my feet but she put me at ease. So, if you get over that way look her up.
We also did an evening sailing. Not much wind by still therapeutic to the soul being on the water watching the dolphins and pelicans fishing for their dinner. It made me think I could easily live on a houseboat, of course I would have to figure some thing else out for hurricane season.
When we arrived there was a cute salon that caught my attention, Trend Benders, so before we left I let my curiosity guide me through the doors. I met Hassan who, while working on a client, had a brief conversation with me. He's been at that location for 16 years and from what I could tell is still a visionary. He was sharing his idea of making curly hair like mine straight but in a more healthy way. It was energizing to see someone who has been in the industry as long as he has still have that twinkle in his eye and continuing to think about ways he can stretch and pull the tools and techniques he has to create something new for the benefit of the people he knows and may meet. Quite a character! I hope to still have his smile sixteen years down the road.
Charleston streets were charming full of history. However, there was not much diversity so I stuck out with my dark curly hair. I didn't mind though. It's ok to stick out in a crowd when you're fabulous! :)
When we arrived there was a cute salon that caught my attention, Trend Benders, so before we left I let my curiosity guide me through the doors. I met Hassan who, while working on a client, had a brief conversation with me. He's been at that location for 16 years and from what I could tell is still a visionary. He was sharing his idea of making curly hair like mine straight but in a more healthy way. It was energizing to see someone who has been in the industry as long as he has still have that twinkle in his eye and continuing to think about ways he can stretch and pull the tools and techniques he has to create something new for the benefit of the people he knows and may meet. Quite a character! I hope to still have his smile sixteen years down the road.
Charleston streets were charming full of history. However, there was not much diversity so I stuck out with my dark curly hair. I didn't mind though. It's ok to stick out in a crowd when you're fabulous! :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
A Gracious Bride
Saturday I did makeup for a bride in this beautiful hotel room downtown Atlanta. Truly this room was impressive (to me). It was at the Loews Hotel and the suite on the 21st floor had a full wall and corner of floor to ceiling windows. All the natural light I could ask for, an artist's dream! What was even more impressive than the room, however, was the bride herself.
She went for the old glamour of Hollywood look and was gorgeous! I hear so many brides say, (some in jest and others in all seriousness) 'Don't make anyone prettier than me..' This girl kept telling her bridal party how beautiful they all looked and how happy she was that they were there to share in her joy, and it wasn't alcohol induced!:) It came across truly heartfelt. She was organized down to a 't'. She had a binder with iteneraries for everyone down to leaving times per group!! And of course, everything didn't go according to plan but as a testament to her character, her bridal party and stepmother (who I would want on my side any day!) rallied around her to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. Which was truly a joy to see. So many bridal parties are self consumed with how they will look that the bride is an after thought. Not these girls! Yet another testimony to her personality.
She seemed ecstatic to be marrying the man of her heart! It was all of these components that really gave her that bridal glow and made her the prettiest girl in the room! It truly is, 'Fun being a Girl... Great being a Woman!' If you happen to read this Amber, Congratulations and thank you for letting me share such a momentous occasion with you!
She went for the old glamour of Hollywood look and was gorgeous! I hear so many brides say, (some in jest and others in all seriousness) 'Don't make anyone prettier than me..' This girl kept telling her bridal party how beautiful they all looked and how happy she was that they were there to share in her joy, and it wasn't alcohol induced!:) It came across truly heartfelt. She was organized down to a 't'. She had a binder with iteneraries for everyone down to leaving times per group!! And of course, everything didn't go according to plan but as a testament to her character, her bridal party and stepmother (who I would want on my side any day!) rallied around her to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. Which was truly a joy to see. So many bridal parties are self consumed with how they will look that the bride is an after thought. Not these girls! Yet another testimony to her personality.
She seemed ecstatic to be marrying the man of her heart! It was all of these components that really gave her that bridal glow and made her the prettiest girl in the room! It truly is, 'Fun being a Girl... Great being a Woman!' If you happen to read this Amber, Congratulations and thank you for letting me share such a momentous occasion with you!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Why? Why? Why? (a minor peeve)
Why do some women insist on wearing foundation that does not match their skin tones? It's very frustrating to see beautiful women walking around with too light or too dark foundation shades. Makeup is supposed to enhance your appearance not completely change it. Of course makeup is also to make you feel better and more confident. But when you wear foundation that does not match it tells me that you have insecurities with yourself and identity. Is that the impression you want to leave with people?
One half of the world insists on wearing lighter foundation because lighter shades of people reflect affluence and a leisurely style of life. They don't want to look like the commoners that work in the field in the sun. The other half of the world wants to look like they are always on vacation in a sun soaked all inclusive resort.
Remember, foundation is to disappear into the skin. However, if you feel more comfortable being a little lighter or a bit darker, stay within a shade of your skin, either a shade lighter or a shade darker. This way you still look like you and people are not distracted by the line of demarcation. Sounds simple right? I have faith in you. Make me proud!
One half of the world insists on wearing lighter foundation because lighter shades of people reflect affluence and a leisurely style of life. They don't want to look like the commoners that work in the field in the sun. The other half of the world wants to look like they are always on vacation in a sun soaked all inclusive resort.
Remember, foundation is to disappear into the skin. However, if you feel more comfortable being a little lighter or a bit darker, stay within a shade of your skin, either a shade lighter or a shade darker. This way you still look like you and people are not distracted by the line of demarcation. Sounds simple right? I have faith in you. Make me proud!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
One Size Fits All?
A couple of nights ago I held a Syncere Soiree at my house and while I was preparing for it, I had a thought. I wasn't going to write about it at first but while I watched the Today show I felt that I needed to voice my opinion.
The Today Show holds these ambush makeover shows where they pick two women out of the crowd and give them a total overhaul. It's a huge undertaking, clothes, hair and makeup in about an hour I think. I understand the time crunch but this is the third time that I have watched it and both women end up with different hair color but the same cut just styled differently. Am I the only one that sees this? They usually are overworked with longer slightly gray hair or over processed blondes and they come out in their reveal with mid length Lisa Rinna styles and dresses. I want to see awesome layers or a sassy pixie, even a sleek bob. And how about a cute pair of jeans with a trendy top or some well fitted slacks? Just a little more variety in what's done would suffice.
While I was preparing for the soiree on how to get the sun kissed look I read in one magazine to do a 'three' on each side of the face. Forehead, cheek and jaw. Another celebrity artist says put the bronzer on the areas of the face that would be touched by the sun, but in the next sentence they say to do a 'W'. Temple, cheek, bridge of the nose onto the other side of the face. I agree with the thought of putting bronzer on the areas of the face that would be hit by the sun. But, that means that every person should study their face and really asess where that would be on them as an individual. The three and the w are not going to be the way to go for everyone. Models, although different ethnicities, weights, skin types and heights, their face shapes are very similar. More angular and slender. However, the rest of us really vary in face shapes. Maybe the bridge of our nose is deeply inset and doesn't see the sun but the tip of our nose does. Maybe our brow bone protrudes a touch and is more exposed to the sun then the rest of our foreheads. This advice could also be the culprit of our throwing away good bronzer, or other products, because they don't 'work' for us.
So let's make a pack to continue reading the good advice we receive, but to also know our individual 'mugs' and tailor, tailor, tailor. One size does not always fit all. Deal?
The Today Show holds these ambush makeover shows where they pick two women out of the crowd and give them a total overhaul. It's a huge undertaking, clothes, hair and makeup in about an hour I think. I understand the time crunch but this is the third time that I have watched it and both women end up with different hair color but the same cut just styled differently. Am I the only one that sees this? They usually are overworked with longer slightly gray hair or over processed blondes and they come out in their reveal with mid length Lisa Rinna styles and dresses. I want to see awesome layers or a sassy pixie, even a sleek bob. And how about a cute pair of jeans with a trendy top or some well fitted slacks? Just a little more variety in what's done would suffice.
While I was preparing for the soiree on how to get the sun kissed look I read in one magazine to do a 'three' on each side of the face. Forehead, cheek and jaw. Another celebrity artist says put the bronzer on the areas of the face that would be touched by the sun, but in the next sentence they say to do a 'W'. Temple, cheek, bridge of the nose onto the other side of the face. I agree with the thought of putting bronzer on the areas of the face that would be hit by the sun. But, that means that every person should study their face and really asess where that would be on them as an individual. The three and the w are not going to be the way to go for everyone. Models, although different ethnicities, weights, skin types and heights, their face shapes are very similar. More angular and slender. However, the rest of us really vary in face shapes. Maybe the bridge of our nose is deeply inset and doesn't see the sun but the tip of our nose does. Maybe our brow bone protrudes a touch and is more exposed to the sun then the rest of our foreheads. This advice could also be the culprit of our throwing away good bronzer, or other products, because they don't 'work' for us.
So let's make a pack to continue reading the good advice we receive, but to also know our individual 'mugs' and tailor, tailor, tailor. One size does not always fit all. Deal?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sharing is Caring...
I have my days where I feel pretty. Not everyday, but there are days or times in the day, that I do. This occurs more the older I get. However, not too long ago I had an 'Aha!' moment, as Oprah would say.
I grew up around a mix of people, not all together in one area since we moved around a lot, but a mix of people over time. When I started school each move I had to adjust. It wasn't the most pleasant experience considering I have a shy nature and it seemed we always moved in the middle of the year. When we lived in Northern Michigan it was a culture shock coming from East Cleveland where everyone's name was at least two syllables to being the only girl in class whose curly hair was a fascination and also the subject of some cruel comments. Thank goodness for a mother who constantly insisted that I was beautiful, a blend of all colors, a peach. Even though I didn't always believe it, it helped to have something positive in my mind to help fight off all those negative comments and thoughts. When you finally become an adult I always thought those feelings magically disappeared. Now I know it's not true. You still continue to fight.
I was working in a salon and on a rather slow day we ended up having this deep conversation in the break room. We were all fighting insecurities about ourselves and envying something in another person. When we layed it out on the table the person in the envy chair was shocked. One girl liked another girl's hips because she felt she didn't have any. Another liked another for her funky clothes, another for her height, another for her weight... the list goes on. What I realized in this conversation is what was really happening was we were appreciating their beauty and individuality. The negativity comes into play because we weren't sharing our appreciation so the thoughts became comparisons and then downplays of ourselves. There wasn't enough positives in our mental banks to fight off insecurities. When we heard the attributes we had that were admired by others not only did the rest of our day go by with ALL of our heads held high but it carried over into the next day as well.
So, this is my thought... You know that moment in the store, mall, gas station, wherever, you see that woman who has the pretty hair, the super cute to die for shoes, the fabulous glasses, the contagious smile, the positive energy? TELL HER! Most times we stare, keep the compliment to ourselves and keep going. Well, what if the woman we stared at saw us examining her and we didn't share the compliment? She might have needed that positive thought to battle some of her own insecurities, because we all have them. It's ok for us women to give another woman a compliment. It doesn't make us look jealous. It actually gives us strength and a boost to our self confidence.
I grew up around a mix of people, not all together in one area since we moved around a lot, but a mix of people over time. When I started school each move I had to adjust. It wasn't the most pleasant experience considering I have a shy nature and it seemed we always moved in the middle of the year. When we lived in Northern Michigan it was a culture shock coming from East Cleveland where everyone's name was at least two syllables to being the only girl in class whose curly hair was a fascination and also the subject of some cruel comments. Thank goodness for a mother who constantly insisted that I was beautiful, a blend of all colors, a peach. Even though I didn't always believe it, it helped to have something positive in my mind to help fight off all those negative comments and thoughts. When you finally become an adult I always thought those feelings magically disappeared. Now I know it's not true. You still continue to fight.
I was working in a salon and on a rather slow day we ended up having this deep conversation in the break room. We were all fighting insecurities about ourselves and envying something in another person. When we layed it out on the table the person in the envy chair was shocked. One girl liked another girl's hips because she felt she didn't have any. Another liked another for her funky clothes, another for her height, another for her weight... the list goes on. What I realized in this conversation is what was really happening was we were appreciating their beauty and individuality. The negativity comes into play because we weren't sharing our appreciation so the thoughts became comparisons and then downplays of ourselves. There wasn't enough positives in our mental banks to fight off insecurities. When we heard the attributes we had that were admired by others not only did the rest of our day go by with ALL of our heads held high but it carried over into the next day as well.
So, this is my thought... You know that moment in the store, mall, gas station, wherever, you see that woman who has the pretty hair, the super cute to die for shoes, the fabulous glasses, the contagious smile, the positive energy? TELL HER! Most times we stare, keep the compliment to ourselves and keep going. Well, what if the woman we stared at saw us examining her and we didn't share the compliment? She might have needed that positive thought to battle some of her own insecurities, because we all have them. It's ok for us women to give another woman a compliment. It doesn't make us look jealous. It actually gives us strength and a boost to our self confidence.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Women of Color
When I first heard the phrase, 'Women of Color' I remember scrunching my brows and looking around to see if anyone else thought the term was strange. There wasn't another face that matched mine so I continued to listen to the cosmetic seminar that was given. Why did it hit me funny? Here's why...
I understand a woman's plight of finding the right colors to compliment her skin tones, the sometimes exasperating effort made to find the right shade of foundation, the irritation of going to 'professionals' at the department store and still having the unforgiveable makeup line of demarcation. Being a blend myself I personally witnessed going to the counter and an advisor would inevitably pick a color too dark because when she looked at me she saw black or bi-racial which means a little bit of black. Instead of truly looking at me and seeing hints of gold and apricot. What I don't understand is how 'color' became black and white. So, are we saying that white is not a color? Espresso is a color but so is bisque. And in all the years I have worked with cosmetics I haven't run into a woman that likes being categorized as Very Light or Dark. The response is usually a head tipped to the side and a, "Dark? I'm not dark. Is there something lighter?" or the sheepish down trodden eye that reluctantly says, "Yes. I'm as white as white can get." Purchasing makeup should make you feel happy, confident and maybe a little excited not self conscious. The issue really lies in the fact that a lot of cosmetic companies have only focused on one end of the spectrum of the rainbow instead of embracing both ends and the colors in between. Fortunately, companies like Nars and MAC seem to see color as more than light and dark and others are following suit. Yay!
So I have decided that when I refer to Women of Color it will not be to define the woman, but to identify with another fellow feminine being who loves rainbows. Women that love rose, cinnamon, indigo, paper bag brown, violet, crimson, black, white etc.... These are really 'Women of Color' in my eyes.
I understand a woman's plight of finding the right colors to compliment her skin tones, the sometimes exasperating effort made to find the right shade of foundation, the irritation of going to 'professionals' at the department store and still having the unforgiveable makeup line of demarcation. Being a blend myself I personally witnessed going to the counter and an advisor would inevitably pick a color too dark because when she looked at me she saw black or bi-racial which means a little bit of black. Instead of truly looking at me and seeing hints of gold and apricot. What I don't understand is how 'color' became black and white. So, are we saying that white is not a color? Espresso is a color but so is bisque. And in all the years I have worked with cosmetics I haven't run into a woman that likes being categorized as Very Light or Dark. The response is usually a head tipped to the side and a, "Dark? I'm not dark. Is there something lighter?" or the sheepish down trodden eye that reluctantly says, "Yes. I'm as white as white can get." Purchasing makeup should make you feel happy, confident and maybe a little excited not self conscious. The issue really lies in the fact that a lot of cosmetic companies have only focused on one end of the spectrum of the rainbow instead of embracing both ends and the colors in between. Fortunately, companies like Nars and MAC seem to see color as more than light and dark and others are following suit. Yay!
So I have decided that when I refer to Women of Color it will not be to define the woman, but to identify with another fellow feminine being who loves rainbows. Women that love rose, cinnamon, indigo, paper bag brown, violet, crimson, black, white etc.... These are really 'Women of Color' in my eyes.
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